Ceramic Flower Skin Stone Garden Hammer

By Joshua Jones

I will not keep the old you. The part that’s heavier to hold than all memory

till now, all the skin of it. Kisses with pieces of you not yet hardened, skin

that belongs to someone else - you in a different time, maybe. Cut memory

with a butter knife. You are now, in every now, and the past you’s

are heavier to hold than an earthenware jug laden with water.

Let me help you. It’s spilling into your shoes.

Your socks will be damp with memories of the old you. And no,

They may never dry, the smell may linger. Let’s carry the jug into the garden

and take to it with hammers. Your waters will sustain lives,

however many worms and flowers. We can’t know for certain.

Maybe a patch of meadowflowers will grow.

They’ll be no different to any other patches of flowers in the garden,

but it will smell of fresh linen, white cotton T-shirts, a stubbed toe, careless taste of blood

fresh to the open air from a knife, slipped across the thumb

while cutting courgettes to skewer over a barbecue, chatting to friends.

Our love for you hurts us – drowning is similar to burning.

Our love is a bottomless jug. Let us bash in the old you,

watch you seep through the cracks in the patio,

slip a piece of ceramic into our pockets.

Celebrate you, now, with cold cucumbers, raw pepper, buttered corn.

Joshua Jones (he/him) is a queer, autistic writer and artist from Llanelli, South Wales. He has an MA in Creative Writing from Bath Spa University, and has been widely published across short stories, poetry, and non-fiction by Poetry Wales, Broken Sleep Books, Wales Arts Review, Gutter Magazine, and more. He has been twice shortlisted for the Rhys Davies Short Story Prize (2021 & 2023). He co-runs Dyddiau Du, a social hub and community art-space for queer & neurodivergent people in Cardiff. He is currently leading a project called 'Room/Ystafell/Phòng, bringing together Welsh and Vietnamese writers. His publications include Fistful of Flowers (2022) and Local Fires (2023).

Twitter: @nothumanhead
Insta: @joshuajoneswrites